I'm not surprised that I missed on 90, and I'm very happy that I matched my current PR of 85. If we had some 1 or 2 pound weights to add, I'd like to try to find a middle spot between 85 and 90...
2 rounds for time of:
30 sit ups
30 push ups
Um, yeah... I was happy with my runs, OK with my situps, and freaking annoyed with my pushups. To get them *good*, they are S-L-O-W. Bummer. I was ahead of everyone after the 2nd run, and then got beat by a good 2 minutes. With knee pushups I would've smoked everybody, but that's not going to help me in the long run. I just get tired of having such slow times sometimes... On a day like Monday where we did rope climbs and stuff, it doesn't bother me. But for the simple stuff, like pushups and pullups and ring dips, I just get angry that I'm not stronger and faster...
I was talking to my friend and her husband about CrossFit this weekend, and said that women tend to lack confidence when they start CrossFit because they've spent their lives viewing their body as an adversary, and not as a tool that they can use for their benefit. I really liked that idea as soon as I'd said it. It sums up how we hate our bodies despite all the things they make possible for us -- it is just so wrong, on every level...
Then today I read a post by Cindy where she's talking about redemtion, and I loved this paragraph:
I look at CrossFit as a redemptive act as I am slowly undoing all the years of fear, poor habits and self-loathing every time I complete a WOD.Fear, poor habits and self-loathing. That just completely sums up my body image experience in my life so far... When I think of my 16-year-old self doing 2.5 hours of track practice every day after school, barely eating 500-600 calories for breakfast and lunch, and willing my body to get smaller, smaller, smaller when it was already absolutely tiny at 130 pounds...
Wow. I am so grateful that I've come so far, and have learned so much. I hope as part of my redemption that I can get involved with teenage girls who are in a similar situation, and teach them about nutrition, about athletic bodies, about disordered eating and how to recognize it in yourself and fix it. Think about the kind of athletic success I could've had with some nutritional counseling and someone to talk me through my horrible ideas about how I should fuel my body and how I viewed my body...
I will continue to redeem myself so that maybe I will have the ability to help others in the future.
I had to throw in a link to this post/article, though it is awesome enough to merit its own post.
We do not do enough to honor ourselves
We bend over backwards for approval and pats on the head from our bosses, spouses, siblings, parents, coaches, friends, and teachers. We strive with hideous effort to say “look at me look at me! I’m here! I exist and that’s a good thing!”
Often, we have no sense of identity beyond what we are worth to another person. That is not the mindset of a confident, healthy individual. That is the mindset of a weaker person expecting to be dominated by another. Perhaps even thinking that that is what they deserve.