Thursday, September 17, 2009

No crying

No crying in CrossFit when you are just pissed off at yourself for not being able to do something. That's just fucking defeatist crap, get over it, don't do it.

This is the pep talk I have to give myself every few weeks.

It's almost always related to a workout where I lack strength, when I simply cannot perform the movement properly because I don't have the power to do it.

Don't yet have the power to do it.

CrossFit is more than just challenging yourself physically, building muscle, getting in good shape, getting skinny, losing your cellulite.

CrossFit is meant to challenge your mind and heart.

It kind of sounds like bullshit when you are looking at the main site, reading the quotes, reading the comments. But when you find yourself laying on the floor after you dumped an overhead squat, or leaning over with that ominous feeling in your mouth like "something's coming up!!!", then you understand the need for that focus on mental challenge, and change.

Looking at a task that is hugely difficult, and attacking it as if it is something that can be achieved is such a warrior ethos. It's what my husband has, that I don't have, and that he tries to instill in me.

But his words can't instill that optimistic belief of "I CAN FUCKING DO THIS!" in the face of anything. My mind still just registers that an impossible task has been presented, and it will be impossible.

Until I shut off the voice of reason and logic, the warrior voice is locked out.

There's only room for optimism in CrossFit, only room for believing in yourself and cheering for yourself.

I think sometimes women are hesitant to start CrossFit because they see it as something outside their comfort zone entirely.

But once they start, I think they become adherents to the program because it unlocks their warrior side. The woman warrior side -- or as we say in my family, "don't mess with the mama bear".

Women have their own deep wells of mental strength, but those energies are most often deployed to help others. Many of us are raised to placate others, to be polite and perfect, to please, to not make others uncomfortable. We can turn our "mama bear" spirit towards the defense and care of others, like our children and husbands and families, but it's harder to turn our energies towards ourselves, to power our own defense and growth.

Cultivate your woman warrior spirit -- turn those "mama bear" energies toward yourself. Believe in the power of YOU.

No crying in CrossFit until the workout is done.


  1. I have done Crossfit three times now in the last two weeks. I have had crying moments everyday I go. And it is an all ladies, beginners, have no clue what the heck we are doing class.Thanks for posting. I do know that once I am done and I am still walking and talking I feel so much better about myself and nothing can stop me.

  2. You are a badass! Keeping a religious log definitely helps. D and I keep ours in excel (well, Numbers) and I love looking at progress of benchmarks over the months (soon to be years!)

  3. Love your blog - I started CF in September and LOVE IT.